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Over 40 Fashion Sense…eh…screw it

Fashion Sense?  Mine is…well….hmmmm…..

It’s not that I don’t care what I look like on a daily basis. It’s more or less lack of time. It’s just easier to clip my hair up and throw on whatever I bothered to throw in the wash. Did I mention I have children?!? And honestly, I love them all dearly…truly I do… but how do I find the time for anything, let alone dressing up?

If you’re over 40, you know the struggle. Everything takes longer. It’s not as simple as it used to be. And 90% of the time, I’m driving kids from point A to point B. I’d make a fortune as a taxi service, if I started charging my kids for services. Add my job to the mix and forget about it! Zero time.

I mean …I’m currently writing this at 11:18 PM just so I can be alone for 10 minutes! 

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Basically…it’s just too much work to bother.. My hair is thinner now …

I am 41.

Did I forget to mention that?

Essentially, I have to ‘fake it’ with my hair. This typically requires curling and teasing, then a lifting spray. My hairs rather long, so it can be hard to get a decent lift. I have cut it in the past, but I hated it! Mostly because I couldn’t just throw it in a bun anymore. Styling takes time. I believe we have established…I have none. And just this year, I started finding  WHITE HAIRS! No…really….ugh. I pulled them out, but it was no use. The bastards grew back. You can’t really see them, but I assure you…

they’re still fricken there!

And my face….well….what do I not have to complain about here???

  • dry skin
  • age spots
  • crows feet
  • those weird forehead wrinkles…crap I hate those things!!!!
  • yellow bumps from skin damage…on my EYEBALLS! It’s called Pinguecula
  • receding gums…it’s mild, but it’s there
  • dark circles…ugh…just shoot me
  • red blemishes just below my neck…again…too much sun

Basically…a boat load of spackle is required, and I flat out don’t feel like dealing with it. I don’t want to deal with primers and foundations (and I don’t really give a shit how light and fluffy it is advertised to be)… glosses, mascara, powders and shadows. I’m not trying to go all ‘Rembrandt’  first thing in the morning. It’s hard enough to find the time to drink my required two gallons of coffee  just to function!.

As far as clothing goes…ugh…here we go again….

  • I’m thin…but…I’m saggy, so not proportioned.
  • My butt has either morphed or melted into the back of my upper thighs. Belts are now required!!!

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  • Where in the name of  Zeus’s pie-hole… did my boobs go?!?! And why do they feel the need to hide in my armpits when I’m laying down?!?! WHY????

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  • Veins…seriously….do I really need to elaborate here?
  • Feet…ugh..ok…four kids in and flat as the earth is wide. “Forget about it” <—this must be said in a strong Italian accent. 
  • It’s not that I have a gut. It’s that I have no lift. Because if I push my boobs up to their proper location…my stomach is flat as a board. Some of you will totally get what I mean. (This also works with my butt…my thighs basically fade away if I yank my butt up to it’s proper place…not that I’m running around yanking on my butt or anything…maybe). 

I mean …

why bother???

And did I mention the popping sounds? Yes…crap just pops for any reason at all. Standing up? Pop. Sitting down? Pop. Walking? Pop. Bending over? Pop. Everything pops…every-fricken-thing. 

And I haven’t even hit menopause yet?!?!

WTF will that be like?!?!?!

  • hot flashes?
  • mood swings?
  • weird hair growth locations?
  • Dammit….is this a cocka-may-mee mood swing?!?!?

Whatever…you know…I intended for this to be a post about  Fashion Over 40. As in; hot spring clothing trends and hairstyles. 

But now I just want a cookie and a glass of wine. (Wait…wine just means I’ll have to pee again in two minutes. I think I’ll try to keep the peeing at my usual 5 minute intervals tonight).

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